Lesson on the 3 H's
I briefly wrote about the 3 H's in day 13. I realize not everyone would understand this lesson. So I thought I would elaborate a bit incase you're curious.
Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling down, depending on your purpose, you have different people you go to? For example, you know you have a friend you can wallow with, or a friend who will validate your feelings, or a friend who will help motivate you. I must admit, I'm rarely that friend that will let you wallow for too long (but I will let you wallow for a bit), nor am I that friend who just listens and agree with you (well, I do, but not very often). I am THAT friend that most people hate when they're down. I am that friend who tries to give you advice to help you move forward. To help you feel better.
It's frustrating being this friend. Because most of the time, the other person just isn't ready to hear what I have to say. They will either withdraw or get mad at me.
That was, until I learned the 3 H's. Of course, recently, I have not heed to this principle that lead to a lot of frustrations. So this is more of a refresher for me than it is for you. (If you're still reading)
The 3 H's are the 3 things someone must have in order to learn and grow. In other words, these 3 things must be present in order for them to listen to what you have to say and apply it.
1.) Hunger - a person must be hungry for the truth. I'm not talking about factual truth. I'm talking about principles and values. When people are hungry for that kind of truth, they are almost unstoppable! You can always tell when someone is hungry when they ask quality questions.
2.) Honest - Ever had someone who gave you advice and you go, oh, but MY situation is different! But you don't understand MY circumstances! Then months later, maybe you look back, and you go, oh man, that advice was good. I just didn't want to admit that was me.
Sometimes we convince ourselves of something different. We convince ourselves a few lies so that we think we can sleep better at night. Being honest means we take a step back and stop fooling ourselves. That we are completely open about where we are so that we can finally take the steps we need to move forward.
3.) Humble - There's a saying, "you don't know what you don't know." If only all of us would adapt that mentality! Sometimes we feel like we're on top of the world and that we know everything. Like, now that I am a mom, I must be an expert and know everything and I don't want to listen to anyone! (ha, if only it was actually true) Being humble means you realize there are people who might know more than you. That maybe, just maybe, there are things you still don't know. Only when you have humility then you will be open enough to learn.
Listen, ALL 3 must be present for someone to learn. Someone can have hunger and honesty but not humility - then they will think they know better than you; someone can have humility and honesty, but no hunger - they aren't ready for the truth; someone can have hunger and humility and not honesty - they will write off what you have to say. This is 100% of the time.
It's been a long time since I revisited this lesson. And it's about time too. It helps me determine what kind of friend I need to be for those in need. Sometimes, it's ok for someone to wallow, sometimes it's ok to just listen and do nothing. And sometimes, when you feel that all 3 H's are present, then it's definitely a good time to shell out that advice you've been dying to give.
Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling down, depending on your purpose, you have different people you go to? For example, you know you have a friend you can wallow with, or a friend who will validate your feelings, or a friend who will help motivate you. I must admit, I'm rarely that friend that will let you wallow for too long (but I will let you wallow for a bit), nor am I that friend who just listens and agree with you (well, I do, but not very often). I am THAT friend that most people hate when they're down. I am that friend who tries to give you advice to help you move forward. To help you feel better.
It's frustrating being this friend. Because most of the time, the other person just isn't ready to hear what I have to say. They will either withdraw or get mad at me.
That was, until I learned the 3 H's. Of course, recently, I have not heed to this principle that lead to a lot of frustrations. So this is more of a refresher for me than it is for you. (If you're still reading)
The 3 H's are the 3 things someone must have in order to learn and grow. In other words, these 3 things must be present in order for them to listen to what you have to say and apply it.
1.) Hunger - a person must be hungry for the truth. I'm not talking about factual truth. I'm talking about principles and values. When people are hungry for that kind of truth, they are almost unstoppable! You can always tell when someone is hungry when they ask quality questions.
2.) Honest - Ever had someone who gave you advice and you go, oh, but MY situation is different! But you don't understand MY circumstances! Then months later, maybe you look back, and you go, oh man, that advice was good. I just didn't want to admit that was me.
Sometimes we convince ourselves of something different. We convince ourselves a few lies so that we think we can sleep better at night. Being honest means we take a step back and stop fooling ourselves. That we are completely open about where we are so that we can finally take the steps we need to move forward.
3.) Humble - There's a saying, "you don't know what you don't know." If only all of us would adapt that mentality! Sometimes we feel like we're on top of the world and that we know everything. Like, now that I am a mom, I must be an expert and know everything and I don't want to listen to anyone! (ha, if only it was actually true) Being humble means you realize there are people who might know more than you. That maybe, just maybe, there are things you still don't know. Only when you have humility then you will be open enough to learn.
Listen, ALL 3 must be present for someone to learn. Someone can have hunger and honesty but not humility - then they will think they know better than you; someone can have humility and honesty, but no hunger - they aren't ready for the truth; someone can have hunger and humility and not honesty - they will write off what you have to say. This is 100% of the time.
It's been a long time since I revisited this lesson. And it's about time too. It helps me determine what kind of friend I need to be for those in need. Sometimes, it's ok for someone to wallow, sometimes it's ok to just listen and do nothing. And sometimes, when you feel that all 3 H's are present, then it's definitely a good time to shell out that advice you've been dying to give.
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